God, Coffee, Pigs

On creative partnerships, Rob Sheffield's Dreaming the Beatles, and my thoughts on trading work

On a recent trip south, my family played that old game Taboo from 1989 where teammates give clues for a word without saying five other words (if the word is ring, you can’t say finger, or diamond, or gold, etc). One of my kids tried to get their teammate to guess Signature by saying, “Parents have messy ones of these.” Without missing a beat, the other kid said, “Emotions.”

My partner and I died laughing. Tell us how you really feel about our leadership!

wonder what big feelings Sasquatch has

you can be fun - father’s day card

cooking

that SUV is awfully close to the mouth of that shark

Fudge & Fun always go together

you heard me

Normally I have a lot of beautiful photos from a week at the beach. For some reason, this year I don’t. I mean, I know why. My plantar fasciitis keeps me from long walks where I photograph wildlife and/or other suburban treasures, and I left my phone behind a lot when we went out. One tragic absence are photos of putt-putting (twice!) including the time we were split up by people bragging about how many courses their grandchild played while said child absolutely, publicly, stunk up the course, lol.

athletic facts & fictions

I appreciate that Actors got its own section but not that Chip and Joanna Gaines are in Memoirs

you’re a winner, rubber duckie

The beach weather was moody, breezy, just how I like it. I wore a suit I found out too late wasn’t good for jumping waves (lots of adjusting the elastic, hoping various bits and bobs stayed in). I had some good long reading time and some time to write when I wasn’t eating meals in my bathing suit. Three cheers for children who know how to swim and entertain themselves peaceably, also for helpful grandparents.

One day Tim and I snuck away for lunch and saw a bird I’ve never seen in my life (she says hyperbolically - maybe I knew this animal once and forgot it). It looked like a snake happily tooling around the water and kind of blew my mind.

the bird/snake might not actually be in this shot but here’s where it was running around - a quick search says it might have been an anhinga

sea turtle in land lake

don’t do it

lol not generic at all

switching gears I found a book series in Tim’s old bedroom about careers without college

the tractor trailer book was really selling it! (stop it with that cutie pie dog). That’s some chummy sunset bliss, where do I sign up?

fresh baked Amish, YUM

scenes from a pit stop

yoga after wienie roast

What else do I want to tell you? We were proselytized to in a Bojangles “restaurant.” Having been subjected to this behavior a ton in his youth, Tim caught on quicker than I did. I’m never getting up for a refill again! he said after he did so and our table was besieged by a man satanically possessed to tell us about his many blessings. There was something in the water at that chicken & biscuit oasis. A different woman came in and ripped the poor employees a new one for not greeting her properly. I passed a note to the kitchen (You’re doing great, eff that lady!!) which someone in the back hung up, a true honor. When we left, our daughter said: “That was SUCH a Karen” (later Tim said this was like, I’ve always heard of elephants . . . We just saw one in the wild!) It took days to shake off that moment. I wonder how it was for those involved. There was no denying the opportunity to say to our kids: We cherish a lot about the south but there are some real problems here, too. Welcome to exhibits A-F.

if I’m not bringing the same vibes as that fourth chilcken in, I am devastated

my daughter confirmed the N was endearingly absent on this note <3

will the US graduate from the cloaked violence we were founded on? asking for a friend this 4th of July weekend

mom who brought herself / child to a Led Zeppelin concert when they first played in Britain

I’ve been watching more of Becoming Led Zeppelin since we’ve been home. My kids are making fun of me because it really is spectacularly bad in terms of pacing and maybe even depth. You would never make it past minute three if you didn’t care about the band. Luckily I am interested in their origins (and Robert Plant’s hangdog eyes) but all I can think sometimes is Wow, Jimmy Page is Mansplainer Par Excellence.

I appreciate Robert Plant talking about learning to write, and his songwriting process with Jimmy Page: The very fact that we were able to be intimate in writing . . .

that’s the big breakthrough

I am pretty sure I’ve seen something similar about co-writing in a book I’m reading, which I’ll get to in a second, but I tend to agree about the intimacy of writing. The composition process is a very vulnerable one, and if someone doesn’t understand your process when they are brought into a half-formed thing, it can wreck the creation, not to mention your confidence. I am often envious of other artists who have writing partnerships that work for them - musicians, sure, but also entrepreneurs or comedians or TV writers. I frequently feel, Jeez if I only had a partner to shuffle this off to, get it the hell off my desk! I err on the side of holding things close even when I could use some feedback because I have had some disastrous and/or underwhelming referendums on my work. At times it’s been too much to overcome. It disrupts the work and keeps me from hearing myself.

This is, incidentally, why I have such confidence in life-coaching. I am a NUT about the sacredness of hearing yourself. It is truly priceless and once you tap into processes that work for you, you don’t need much else (besides shelter - and maybe calories and funny friends) to steer your ship. This is not to say there won’t be setbacks, or that real glass ceilings and institutional violences don’t exist. And/but when you know how to listen to yourself and faithfully clasp your own hand, it makes seeing the obstacles and dangers (and enemies) that much clearer.

Sometimes I approach co-editing like a jilted lover. Rather than risk the disappointment of not being met with playfulness or joy or proper rigor or grammar (again!!), I just forgo the whole thing. I rarely trade off my work because it’s so painful when it’s not a good match. When I just stay home (and don’t ask someone for help), I not only save myself heartache but I also keep access to all my favorite snacks. (Please admire this metaphor that has gotten up and wandered off to wherever the hell we are now. Also, please help.) I’m not saying this is a good thing. I deeply believe we go much faster in terms of evolution when we partner with others who can help.

What I AM saying is: where is my songwriting partner? I am JUST as talented as Robert Plant!!

boo

In seriousness, it sounds quite sweet, having people you trust or (even semi-trust) inside your writing cave. I’ve often wondered what it would be like to trade a manuscript back and forth with Tim, whose sense of humor and irony and gravity I (obviously?) trust¹. And who, like Plant, is sporting some beachy Jesus waves in his hair this summer:

I am not crazy about how disheveled I look here but this is the best evidence of his chosen summer style

In more music news, I’m finally reading Rob Sheffield’s book Dreaming the Beatles and gobbling it up. I LOVE a critic with former religious bents because their heart is (usually) in the right place. Sheffield’s writing is so warm and generous and his takes are endlessly interesting to me. Here’s a taste:

The Beatles are the band that brings you flowers; the Stones are the band you catch crabs from in the bathroom line. The Beatles are the band that passes you the bong and asks your opinion on the Bhagavad Gita; the Stones are the band that borrows your wallet to score pharmaceutical groovies in the alley, then disappears with your date and leaves you stuck with the bar tab. The Beatles are peace and love; the Stones are laughter and joy and loneliness and sex and sex and sex and sex and sex. The Beatles got an A for their term paper on transgressive performance art; the Stones broke up the professor’s marriage.

LOL!! I wonder how long he worked on that paragraph. The Beatles got an A for their term paper on transgressive performance art . . . Chef’s kiss.

daughter’s drawing <3 <3

do I need a songwriting partner or just a teeny tiny stool? this CRACKED me up when I saw it. yes, please! mice need tables, too

I almost forgot to explain the title of this post! (Paging Jimmy Page . . . ) In that same game of Taboo, I was trying to get my family to guess the word Pig by saying, “I really like these…” Everyone chimed in.

“Gods!” said my youngest.

“Coffee!” said my husband.

“Pigs!” said my daughter.

Friends, I felt very known.

trying to document my latest chunky kraken

hi

Alrighty-ho, this post has been a rambler. We’re in a heat wave here in the Midwest, making me very grateful for access to water. This holiday weekend is giving me memories of last year’s trip to Michigan’s upper peninsula and the RV that flew an American flag in Christmas lights. (Of course it did!)

Here’s a video to take us out featuring some of my favorite dinosaurs (the brown pelican - more blue than brown to me). Also featured: a plane advertising bikini stores or some dinner show, and clouds over the Atlantic Ocean:

Sending lots of love,

Kara

1. I’m being hyperbolic again. I have had MANY good feedbacks (totally a word) and have been edited skillfully by many friends. Some comments have stayed with me helpfully for years! The best readers are sometimes people who do not write, their observations astute and digestible: “Why is this person whose brother died talking to that brother on page 56?” One of my best friends once circled a sentence and said, I want to see her mittens!! in all caps, haha. Sometimes actionable items are the best advice, versus, say, “These parts need to be fixed but I have no idea how.” Oh, great, thanks for that. Pardon me while I throw myself off a cliff.